She’s Not Back, She Never Left!
Last night was the first time I switched on the central heating, albeit, low. I woke this morning with the feeling of razor blades in my throat and thought it was perhaps due to the temperature change.
Once I cleared my throat, I felt fine and got on with my day. By midday, I was starting to ache all over, and putting two and two together I felt this was perhaps the onset of a cold or flu.
I cut my day short and got home by 4pm dropping my bag in the lounge. I had this urge to just put on my PJs and climb into bed, so I did. Just after 5pm I felt rotten and thought I had been whacked with the dreaded man flu. You know, just a common cold that seems to strip you of your masculinity, where you can’t even walk to the kitchen for a glass of water without moaning and complaining. I tried to take a shower which ended abruptly as I struggled to even stand. Luckily, I have an over-the-bath shower so laid in the tub for ages, loving the hot water massaging me like heavy rain from above.
I laid in bed watching Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. Being single, living with HIV I said to myself ‘wheres my Bodyguard’ and ‘isn’t it sad I have nobody to look after me and my Man-Flu’. So, I didn’t hesitate to be over-emotional, unlike me, by posting a story on my Instagram. I guess it was hard to convey how unwell I felt, but for me it made me giggle that I was an ex-drag queen, unwell but attempting to be a lip sync assassin.
I spent all day in bed except for taking a shower around 11am and again laying in the tub enjoying the heavy jets massaging me. I was starting to become a little suspicious given with cold/flu and/or man flu over the years, I always had little to no appetite.
This time around, I was ‘starving’ and ordered a takeaway brunch, feeling too unwell to stand and rustle something up myself. By 5pm I had cravings for pizza so ordered Domino’s as they had a 2-4-1 deal and I thought it’d be rude not to take advantage.
With the steaming hot pizza in the soggy boxes, I did something I never do, eat in bed. Even those romantic breakfasts in bed have me in a flap that my 100% crisp white cotton is going to be stained with OJ and/or fruit preserve. As I dunked my pizza into the garlic sauce, I said to myself ‘you don’t usually have this kind of appetite when you have a cold or flu’ but I thought nothing of it.
Even by day three, I would have expected to be either over the worst or at least feel a little more able to do things. So, feeling the same if not a little worse, I spent all day in bed with the exception of taking a shower.
Like many people living with HIV (PLWHIV) I received a mysterious box of lateral flow tests in the post around March 2022. Mysterious because I had not ordered any, but the NHS had sent PLWHIV (and those with underlying health conditions) a box when they withdrew them from the general population for free.
Covid-19 had not even crossed my mind as I didn’t have any of the more commonly known symptoms such as loss of taste/smell, a constant cough, or a fever.
As I got ready for work, I stumbled across my box of lateral flow tests in a draw so decided to take one. As I took the sample, being in a rush I thought it was pointless as it wouldn’t be covid-19.
As the sample on the test started to soak into the test strip almost instantly 2 lines appeared to indicate I was Covid-19 positive, and I was shocked. Why? I have no idea. I guess as the population became vaccinated and we’ve all got on with life, Covid-19 had disappeared from our daily conscience. As we’ve gone through summer, I didn’t hear of anyone testing positive nor falling ill with Covid-19. Nowhere including NHS settings required mask wearing and in some of the places I attempted to pump myself some hand sanitiser, they’d long since dried up.
Back in December 2021 I received an email to say as a PLWHIV I would be in receipt of a PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction) test to keep at home in the event I need to test for Covid-19. It was stated this was due to being eligible for Covid-19 antiviral medication.
The PCR ‘priority test’ was to be stored at home and allow someone with Covid-19 symptoms to test as early as possible to start antiviral treatment at the earliest opportunity. Given I had tested positive for Covid-19 by lateral flow and despite having had covid-19 in the past, this seemed more severe. So, I took the sample and posted the PCR.
Also, it was reasonable to believe I had no immunity from past vaccinations. I had, had a first and second dose of AstraZeneca in 2021 with the over 70’s cohort as a PLWHIV. In November 2021 I was invited by the NHS to book a “booster” jab. When I arrived at the center, despite having a booking reference number, indicating I was eligible to book online in the first instance I was turned away.
Despite having a booking reference number for my booster, obtained by following the links the NHS had sent me to book a booster. I was turned away from 2 vaccination centres, UCL Bidboroguh House & Boots Holborn because they alleged, I did not qualify as I was clearly not 60 years or older. I called the NHS Covid-19 hotline 119 and they confirmed I was eligible and should not be turned away. They advised me to inform the vaccination centre the fact I have a booking reference number after booking online was enough to confirm I was eligible. Those, not eligible could not book online via the links and their individual NHS number which you needed to book.
Anyhow, the 3rd vaccination centre I went to also denied me a booster. I asked to speak to a manager as per the advice of NHS 119. I got a clinical lead at the centre who asked me to “prove” I was living with HIV. I don’t think she expected me to open my NHS file on my mobile which showed “chronic illness” as ‘HIV’. She stated that given the dates of my AstraZeneca doses and given that vaccine is geared toward the older population I would most likely have “absolutely no antibodies” from those doses.
She stated it was her “clinical decision” that I do not take a booster which she stated was a “0.25 ml” dose and I should instead take a full dose (0.5 ml) to be treated as a “first dose” of Moderna and not as a “third dose” given the elapsed timeline.
The Moderna made me incredibly ill for 3 whole days and I vowed at the time I’d never take the second dose. Obviously, as time passed, and I acknowledged the benefit of being vaccinated I was happy to go for a 2nd dose when the time came. However, despite being invited I decided not to take the 2nd dose given I did not wish to be turned away as I had before. I had by this time had a response from a complaint I made to NHS who stated they could not identify the individuals who turned me away. I found this to be disingenuous given I passed the vaccination sites daily for work, hence why I chose them in the first instance and saw the individuals almost daily indicating they were regular volunteers/staff.
Testing positive this time for Covid-19 was 10 months and 3 days after the ‘first dose’ [3rd covid-19 vaccination] of Moderna and from all the scientific data we have heard it’s probably a safe bet to say I was not at all protected against Covid-19.
Well, it was not a shock that my PCR test result came back positive today. I also did a lateral flow this morning and filmed it as a time-lapse as work was suspicious as to whether I was really Covid-19 positive or merely bunking off work. Although I don’t have a reputation for bunking off.
My manager stated I should come into work despite being covid-19 (PCR) positive. The usual 12-minute walk to the Brunswick Centre took me 40 minutes as I felt absolutely drained. Just as I arrived, stopping off at Tesco Express for some strepsils for my sore throat my manager messaged to say it was best I didn’t go in after all as I’d be infectious. Her conscience had clearly been pricked and I too was quite relieved as I wasn’t keen on the prospect of being a ‘spreader’.
So, I sat in Russell Square for some rest and didn’t/couldn’t move for over 2 hours before managing the slow walk home.,
The next morning, I was starting to feel a lot better than I had done the previous days and since acquiring Covid-19. I received a call from ‘The infectious Diseases’ clinic after the NHS had informed them of my positive PCR for Covid-19.
The doctor explained I was “eligible” for covid-19 antiviral treatment given I was living with HIV. I stated Covid-19 had somewhat hit me hard but I was starting to feel a little better. And that I had no concerns with breathing or other Covid-19 symptoms as I had initially believed I just had flu.
I stated that I was not interested in any treatments that I had not heard of and/or was not aware of without first researching them. Although had I not been feeling better, I’d have definitely taken whatever was on offer that may have improved how I was feeling given I was aware my vaccination status was literally zero.
I have to say, receiving a copy of her referral documenting our conversation I was taken aback that she had to answer the question “Is there any reason to think the patient lacks capacity”? For Covid-19 antiviral treatment? Are they taking the piss!
Today is truly a day I do not feel so lethargic or as I’d term it ‘lazy’. I am not sure if this was what they termed ‘long covid’ to which I saw lazy-looking people on the news declaring they had to avoid work. I, on the other hand, continued with work but felt tired a lot faster with the exception of today.
Was this long period of recovery due to covid-19 or just a seasonal coincidence? Was it due to not being vaccinated and living with HIV? I have no idea, but I do accept having had covid-19 while vaccinated previous to this event, that, vaccinations most likely ease the symptoms of covid-19 as we have been advised.
